Can't touch this

I didn't blog last night because I was visiting Esther at the hospital. Her family had left to go have a family dinner so it was just the two of us. I didn't go with the expectation of getting to meet Ben, but when Esther explained the rules and that I could go meet him, I was very excited.

(Sidenote: Esther said it was ok for me to post pictures on the internet.)

Ben is currently hooked up to a vent, but because he is on the big side for a NICU baby (over 5 pounds), he doesn't have to be in a full isolette. He doesn't need the extra heat and humidity, his temp is just fine. But he is having problems breathing on his own, so the vent is necessary.

He can't wear a hat while he is on the ventilator, but since I know his head size (33 cm) I can make him one to wear when he is off. The nurse said to put his initial on it somewhere, so I plan on doing that tonight at knit wits.

It was great to spend two hours with Es, just chatting and learning about what exactly is going on. But hovering in the back of my mind is, "I need to ask Betsy what it is like to leave the hospital after having a baby, but not getting to take your baby home."

Esther leaves on Friday and Ben won't. He will be there for a few more weeks probably. The thought of leaving the hospital without your baby makes me very said and I have to admit I cried a few tears when I realized that reality will be for Esther and Ben.

When I met Ben my first instinct was to reach out and have him grab my finger. And pat his head. But it is all "can't touch this" for Ben right now. Esther hasn't held him and only changed his diaper a few times. The respiratory therapist said that they are trying to be hands off with him (germs I think) and for some reason this means that Esther shouldn't be the one to change his diaper any more. Esther wants to be the one to change his diaper because then she gets to touch him. But, Esther is ok with following the rules (she's great like that) because she knows it will help Ben in the long run.

Thank you for your continued prayers, I know they all appreciate it and that it is helping Ben.