Playing favorites

Yesterday at dinner Damon was trying to get Fuller to give him “five.”

It used to be that any time you asked him to give you this gift of “five” he would immediately respond with the customary hand slap (something the Man Laws are trying to abolish in our culture).

Now that our son is months older and is growing in his ability to discern instructions and decide if he wants to follow them, this act of giving “five” is something that Fuller will only do after careful consideration of whether the other person is worthy of his “five.” He pauses, cocks his head to the side (exposing the wheels turning inside his head), and raises his hand shoulder-high.

If he decides you get the “five,” he then slaps down his hand into your outstretched high, which is eagerly awaiting the precious “five.” Usually laughing and giggling follows.

If he decides you don’t get the “five,” he grins at you and pulls his hand down to his side.

So last night D was getting Fuller to slap his hand. Over and over, slap!, giggle, “give me five!” slap, giggle, “Yeah!”

Then he said, “Fuller, give Mommy five.” Fuller cocked his head, raised his hand, grinned, and put his hand down to his side.

I wasn’t worthy of a “five.”

Now, this is not something that saddens me, because usually if you ask again, or several more times, Fuller gives in and gives up the “five.”

But what did sadden me was what Damon said next. “I wish he wouldn’t favor me so much.”

I immediately rushed in with the response, “Well, if I was home all the time with him, he probably would favor me.”

I don’t know if I was trying to convince Damon that he is the current favorite only because he stays home all the time or if I was trying to convince myself that Fuller favors Daddy only because he gets to stay home with Fuller all day. Maybe it was a little of both.

Damon says that at this age kids usually favor their mother, and his staying home gives him an edge in the favorite category. To him this current “Daddy is the favorite” phase is just balances things out.

I do worry about Fuller favoring his father over me, but it isn’t something that I can really control. The fact is he does spend most of his time with Damon and that time together is building a bond that will hopefully stay strong in the future. I want that bond to be there when the word “No” becomes the word of the day or when he asks to borrow the keys to go on his first date. I want that bond to be there when Fuller wants to know about saying “No” to the pressures of this world we live in. I want that bond to be there when he is off at Auburn and trying to make his own way in the world.

I would worry if he didn’t develop a bond with one of us and if it isn’t me, then I am happy to see that relationship grow and build everyday between father and son.

Besides, he’s just playing high fives with his Daddy. Tomorrow Fuller will ask me for more juice (with a little “deez!” for please). Guess who the favorite is then?