Plays well with others or Not waiting for immaculate perfection

In the seven years that we have been married we recognize that our home has not been the hotbed of social interaction. We have had people over here and there, and one football season we had people over for several televised Auburn games, but football season ends in December and usually our home contains one or more power tools that don’t give a very inviting vibe to guests.

Recently I started to look around and wonder where our friends are in our lives. Sure, we have friends, people we talk to at church and see at work, the store, and a few of them we see in their homes when we go there once a year or so, but it just seemed like there was a hole where genuine friendship should be. I was feeling lonely for our family.

I mentioned this to Damon, I mentioned that I felt kind of left out. But then in the next breath I also said that I think that in order to expect socialization to occur, we need to be open to having people over to our house as well. Which has always been a stumbling block for us.

About five years ago some friends stopped by our house while on an evening walk. They had their two boys with them and while we visited in the living room the boys managed to find sharp nails, dangerous tools and electrical wires in the way of their enjoyment of our home. It wasn’t a very long visit. But it is a classic example of why we just haven’t had people over; our house just wasn’t condusive to hospitality.

But now… now we have the pretty gold walls and the clean dining room table, plus the only power tools with permanent residence are the kitchen appliances. Sure, we have more work to do on the house, but having a perfect house is not a requirement for having people over for a meal and fellowship.

Last month we entertained D’s old roommate Todd and his wife Liz. They are moving soon and we had to get some time in with them before they started sending out change of address cards. D made calzones and Fuller made us all giggle while we enjoyed breadsticks and talked about the past and future.

Then last night we had Denver and Joanna over for Fettuccini New Orleans and a game of Mississippi Queen. Denver & Joanna are expecting their first child in October so the conversation was peppered with our expert parenting advice and tales from the labor and delivery room.

Lauren Winner’s book Mudhouse Sabbath has a chapter devoted to hospitality that I have been thinking about since I read it in January. She writes,

“I am not even very good at luncheon hospitality. I want to be. But I am too busy, my kitchen is too small, inviting people over takes too much time, my apartment is always messy.”

My that sounds a little familiar to me.

She goes on,

“But in that list of excuses is a set of pointers about what hospitality is and is not, what it does and does not require. It does require a bit of intentionality…. Intentionality, however, is not perfection. Let’s consider that very last excuse in my list, the seemingly innocent insistence that my apartment is never tidy enough for guests… if I wait for immaculate, I will never have a guest.”

In the chapter she discusses the examples of hospitality set forth by God our creator who is hospitable by giving us our home on this earth. Lauren continues,

“God’s creation gives us a model for making and sharing homes with people, but the reality of God’s Trinitarian life suggests that Christian hospitality goes further than that. We are not meant simply to invite people into our homes, but also to invite them into our lives.”

Last night was so much fun. The opportunity to talk with other adults in a stage of life similar to ours was refreshing and the addition of learning a new game gave it an informal and relaxing atmosphere. And I hope the evening communicated to them that we want these people in our lives as good, solid friends. Sure the distant sightings around town are nice, but we want to be involved in people’s lives as well.

And so, a new family tradition of intentional hospitality has been born. Anyone want to play a round of Mississippi Queen?